“What’s in your shop window?” That’s what a Legionary priest asked me one day as I was walking across Spain on the Camino de Santiago in July 2017. I had been praying a rosary and asked the Lord to speak. No joke, 5 minutes later this priest came out of nowhere. We started talking + he gave me some direction - particular to dating. It was inspired by a letter Tolkien wrote to his son. Essentially the priest said, "imagine yourself as a shop with all these treasures inside. What you put in your shop window matters. It needs to be a snippet of the authentic you." He was very clear to tell me, “ it can’t just be general physical beauty in your window." How did he know I needed to hear that? The Holy Spirit works. This Spanish priest said that in order to attract the best kind of people for you (both in dating relationships and in friendships), you need something in your window more specific to *who you are*.
I’ve pondered this question many times since with no real answers. Beside giving up makeup for Lent and trying to detach from physical beauty in specific ways (read: hate my varicose veins less), I still didn’t know how else to work to change what’s going in my “window” .... until very recently. I was working through grief and went through my “favorites” iPhone album. I came across this picture.
I’ve never been a big fan of selfies, but have learned to appreciate 1) milestone pics and 2) ones that capture people most authentically. And this picture fits both. It’s when we first arrived in Santiago. We just walked 219 miles in 12 days. I recognized this picture captures who I am well. Adventure girl, lover of nature, joyful in the Father’s love, not afraid to get sweaty, achieving a goal, amongst dear friends. This joy is REAL.
Then, I thought of that Legionary priest + his question. Soon after, I thought of my old Instagram profile picture and how my physical beauty was affirmed when it was taken. Which is fine, but I realized one tangible, little step I could take to work on this “window” question is change my profile picture to one that is even more accurate to who I am— not just exterior, but my whole personhood.
So what’s in your window? Is it physical beauty? One of your top interests? Your career? Your love of family or social justice? Maybe it's one of your quirks like your love of musicals! Maybe it varies depending on the season of life you’re in. Maybe your window is covered with a dark curtain where no one can even see you at all.
If you want to dive deeper, find those pictures where you are most authentically yourself. Find them and reflect. Particularly if you’re not married and hope to be or if you need to reevaluate friendships, that priest’s question is a great one to ponder.
⛪️